tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35635702011-04-21T19:55:53.808-04:00The Open WindowIf you expect nothing from somebody, you'll never be disappointedShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comBlogger1031100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1105910972555813502005-01-16T16:25:00.000-05:002005-01-16T16:29:32.556-05:00wow, it's a year later. Good riddence 2004. You sucked!
I'm back at Outback. Oddly, I finally feel like I'm working toward something. It's weird how happy I am.
If you want to know more about me click here.
Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1074555982421986822004-01-19T18:46:00.000-05:002004-01-19T18:49:07.936-05:00"He suddenly recalled the famous myth from Plato's Symposium: People were hermaphrodites until God split them in two, and now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost."The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan KunderaShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1068177326437158962003-11-06T22:55:00.000-05:002003-11-06T22:55:45.873-05:00I just can't get out of this rut. I feel like I've tried everything. Everyday is so up and down that I can't stand to be around myself. By the end of the day I'm so tired of thinking that I just want to sleep, but before I know it my alarm goes off and I have to deal with myself for another 16 hours. Just when I've figured one thing out and I think I have some sort of plan, I'll do the complete Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1068175982745437832003-11-06T22:33:00.000-05:002003-11-06T22:35:50.530-05:00I was just bony hands as cold as a
winter pole you held a warm stone
out new flowing blood to hold oh
what a contrast you were to the
brutes in the halls my timid young
fingers held a decent animal
Over the ramparts you tossed the
scent of your skin and some
foreign flowers tied to a brick
sweet as a song the years have
been short but the days were long
Cool of a temperate breeze Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1066791827572314142003-10-21T23:03:00.000-04:002003-10-21T23:08:33.000-04:00So I get these flashes of... happiness I guess, where I can look at every aspect of my life and acknowledge how great it is. True, my job is not what I want to do for the rest of my life but it allows me to live how I want to live and the people I work with are fun, interesting people. I'm saving money to live my dream and move to Portland. I have this great apartment in an awesome location in a Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1065820009504140042003-10-10T17:06:00.000-04:002003-10-10T17:34:28.166-04:00
Wow, that's the last time I've written. That sucks. There will be more soon, but first... I'd really love it if everyone who read my blog visited the modest needs website. I volunteer for it and it's a really great organization. I would go into detail about it here but the website really speaks for itself. Just check it out, mention it to your friends, and if you like what you see, giveShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1063487189610145052003-09-13T17:06:00.000-04:002003-09-13T17:18:30.360-04:00These are the Things I've Lost
I forgot to be silly.
I forgot to enjoy simple things-especially when I'm by myself.
I forgot about my interests-my loves.
I forgot my faith-growing with it and questioning it.
I forgot how to like being alone with my thoughts.*
I forgot how much I wanted independence.
I forgot how much I was in love with love.
I forgot how many options I have-even just Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1063252674700552792003-09-10T23:57:00.000-04:002003-09-10T23:57:54.693-04:00Why is it that when you have a really great day they go by so fast. I wish more days were like today. No real reason... it was just a good day. I wish I knew what defined those days. The ones that are just good and happy and things happen that make you glad you're doing whatever it is you are or aren't doing. Because then there are those horrible days... the ones where nothing necessarily bad Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1063076887877818882003-09-08T23:08:00.000-04:002003-09-08T23:08:07.923-04:00At least five different colors
Well blended and mixed
When I see them before me
They are focused and fixed
Time varies in speed
Along with my mood
Awaiting that moment
When I know what to do
A balm for my wounds
A key to the lock
They're piercing, they're gentle
They're moving, they're strong
But when they're vulnerable
That's when these colors stand out
Asking, wanting,
"Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1062990877964869822003-09-07T23:14:00.000-04:002003-09-07T23:15:17.396-04:00I really should update this more often. At the moment though, there's way too much going on in my head. Those of you reading this definitely don't want to know what that's like. In other news.... Courtney and Jeff are engaged. I'm actually very surprised that I was able to keep it a secret. I remember at Colin's cocktail party Ellen and Sarah were wondering when it would happen and how they Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1061604903904012252003-08-22T22:15:00.000-04:002003-08-22T22:17:22.400-04:00Whoa. This is like the never-ending web-site. homestarrunner Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1061159793370332202003-08-17T18:36:00.000-04:002003-08-17T18:38:16.366-04:00Hey everyone. Things are going quite well with me. Steve just left for UK this afternoon but I got to spend most of the day with him before he left. We went to the fair with his family. It was fun. I love going to the fair. It's one of few things that I consider American and am not ashamed of. The food's not so bad either! So Courtney's been home for about a week and I don't think anyone has Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-1059365424255660022003-07-28T00:10:00.000-04:002003-07-28T00:11:35.490-04:00It's started in the back of my head.
Is it ending? Is it dead?
It's much too soon, and far too new.
Will one small thought instigate our ruin?
Paranoid, niave
At least one maybe both.
Every positive thought--doesn't exist.
Every negative thought--strongly persists.
We'll see how this goes.
How long I can last.
Hopefully my future won't be like my past.
I won't scare him away,
He Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-959344522003-06-23T00:27:00.000-04:002003-06-23T00:28:12.000-04:00How I feel right now....
There's a scene in Vanilla Sky when Tom Cruise's character leaves Penelope Cruz's apartment the morning after they first meet. As soon as he leaves she goes crazy and is all excited and jumping around her apartment. I love that scene because it's so true. It's that instant when you can't believe how amazing the moment you just experienced was. You're unable to express Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-958872152003-06-21T03:07:00.000-04:002003-06-21T03:07:37.000-04:00It's the excitement of love's possibility... and it's making me sick. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-957396892003-06-16T23:19:00.000-04:002003-06-16T23:19:47.603-04:00It's so weird to be around people whose lives are so completely different than your own. I went to Kristina's son's first birthday party on Saturday and it was weird. Kristina is 19 and her son Christian just turned 1 yr. There were some older women there who I'm guessing were her mom's friends and probably some family. Kimberly and her husband were there with their 6 month old. And then two of Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-951799402003-06-02T01:56:00.000-04:002003-06-02T02:00:30.000-04:00I forgot my pillow. I know this seems anti-climactic, but everything went well. I didn't play flawlessly. But everyone said it sounded good and I know I'm way too hard on myself when it comes to playing the guitar. I'm really excited that I made myself do it. Playing in front of strangers really isn't too tough. Plus they were all talking amongst themselves so I was kind of just background musicShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-950657962003-05-30T00:26:00.000-04:002003-05-30T00:26:45.393-04:00In 48 hours it'll all be over with. I can't wait for that moment. I feel very confident about playing in Meredith's wedding but at the same time I can't wait for it to be over. I hope I play well. I have 5 songs to play, 4 of which I'm the best at. I know I'll do fine it's just nerve-racking. It's midnight. In 6 hours my dad will be here and we'll start out on the 9 hour drive to S.C. I haven't Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-941774032003-05-11T22:11:00.000-04:002003-05-11T22:11:39.353-04:00I close my eyes. The sky above me is blue and clear. I am transported 2300 miles away where the ocean is blue and clear. Breathing the salty air. They hide in the grass, I'll hide in the sand. From one oasis to another. I call both home. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-941594012003-05-11T14:58:00.000-04:002003-05-11T14:58:38.673-04:00There's been way too much going on lately. Not just in my life, like work and paying bills and getting from point a to point b on time. But things that are on my mind. Like what I'm going to do w/ my life. Where I'm going. Who I'm going with. Especially that... the people I see day to day and the relationships I have with them. I'll thank hilary, regan, robin and leslie for this. It's really Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-930082032003-04-21T18:36:00.000-04:002003-04-21T18:36:46.670-04:00I think this is all so amazing. I've always considered myself too emotional for my own good. Reading the email from Jo & Lawrence just put the tears in motion. Imagine if I had known her as well as most of you had. I've never been able to categorize my beliefs on what happens to a person when they die, as far as what religion they would fall under. And I only recently realized that it didn't Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-929250332003-04-20T03:59:00.000-04:002003-04-20T03:59:49.966-04:00I totally would have been at Andy's had I known for sure something was going on. We all need to be able to lean on each other when things like this happen. I want people to know I'm here for anyone to lean on. Sarah is right... if you know me well enough to read this... know that I love you and care about you. I wish it didn't take something like this to bring us all together. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-929022722003-04-19T16:37:00.000-04:002003-04-19T16:37:36.140-04:00To me she was this free spirit that I never fully understood but always admired. She was just Claire... you know what I mean. She never seemed afraid to do anything. I'm still in shock about it. We're all gonna miss you Claire! I wish I had known you better. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-923942242003-04-10T20:28:00.000-04:002003-04-10T20:28:31.966-04:00Man, I totally forgot about this. It feels like a lot has been going on. Too much to update you on everything. I'll see some of you on Saturday. :) Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-911799992003-03-22T09:51:00.000-05:002003-03-22T09:51:51.326-05:00I exude who I am. I am already who I never thought I would become. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-911602362003-03-21T22:08:00.000-05:002003-03-21T22:08:05.966-05:00Cute boy alert! There's a new guy at work. His name is Clay. He seems pretty cool. I only see him a couple times a day since he works in a different dept. and building but I talked to him a lot today so it was cool. There's definitely some potential there but I'm not getting to excited about it. :) Let's see... seems like there's a lot to report since it's been almost two weeks since I've posted Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-903887042003-03-09T01:02:00.000-05:002003-03-09T01:02:39.466-05:00Hmm... What a confidence builder... thanks drew! I'm not sure what else to say :) Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-901499262003-03-04T21:35:00.000-05:002003-03-04T21:35:37.436-05:00I'm pretty sure I'll be re-living this life. I have too many regrets already. They're only little ones but there's this fear in me that something big could happen. I don't know what it is. It could even be disguised as something positive. But either way... it'll happen... and I won't realize it until I'm 40 and I think back and say "why didn't I do that when I had the chance?" Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-898727632003-02-27T20:32:00.000-05:002003-02-27T20:32:12.403-05:00I should win an oscar for my over-reactingShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-898725782003-02-27T20:28:00.000-05:002003-02-27T20:28:06.856-05:00I got this from maggie whose friend found it. I also like it, so I copied the text. 1)You have to tell a girl how you feel about her...we make no assumptions.
2)It never hurts to work out...take your own advice.
3)Girls like sex just as much, if not more than guys.
4)Not all girls masturbate...we just don't and no we are not lying.
5)We hate porn.
6)Hmmmm...guys in Jeeps...yummmm...
7)Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-896884412003-02-24T22:49:00.000-05:002003-02-24T22:50:07.000-05:00Borrowed from Drew:
when times feel bad, or i think i cant handle it, i remember one little bit...
at least im not the son of michael jackson.
i wouldnt wish that on anyoneI couldn't agree w/ you more.
Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-896696522003-02-24T17:25:00.000-05:002003-02-24T17:25:10.530-05:00Why is it that you can be so completely blind to certain things? I can forsee every possible happy ending but never the bad ending that always makes it's way into just about everything that I get some what excited about. Now it's true that I had a feeling this would all end badly but why couldn't I see this coming?--it always has to be something else. Not to mention worse.Well... I did bring it Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-896050282003-02-23T12:36:00.000-05:002003-02-23T12:37:53.000-05:00Well, winter's gonna end
I’m gonna clean these veins again
So close to dying that I finally can start livingShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-888294752003-02-09T22:33:00.000-05:002003-02-09T22:33:26.523-05:00Do you ever want to make a mistake? I have two fairly large... ok, well, huge mistakes on my to do list and at the moment have no desire to take them off. I'm getting a little weirded out by them... I don't truely think they're going to happen but I'm not taking steps to make sure they don't. One involves a close friend who gives really great advice. I wish I could remove him from the situation Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-885020762003-02-03T19:56:00.000-05:002003-02-09T22:11:05.000-05:00After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think 'em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you're not reading it? Is this your last best chance? Are you going to take it? Or are you going to the grave with un-lived lives in your veins?Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-884425812003-02-02T19:06:00.000-05:002003-02-02T19:06:26.720-05:00Nicole. I knew I'd remember her name. :) Being productive is over-rated. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-884298572003-02-02T13:31:00.000-05:002003-02-02T13:31:48.000-05:00Well, here I am. I've been here two nights and I've gone to Wick's both times. That's not good... for my wallet anyway. Went to Cahoots. It was sort of fun. I was too tired from unpacking all day. Ran into Coire and... shit what is her name... I always forget it. Andy's roommate... not Amy. Oh well. I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about. Anyway, I really need to go buy stuff for the apt. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-883028952003-01-30T21:37:00.000-05:002003-01-30T21:38:19.000-05:00My last night at home. :)
I start moving tomorrow after work. I can't wait. Andrew is supposed to help me and then I think we're going to Wick's to eat. I have no worries about whether Hilary and I will get along. I think we have more in common than either of us either thought. I went tonight to just pick up the key and we ended up talking for like 2 hours. She's such a cool person. I can't Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-880274122003-01-25T20:48:00.000-05:002003-01-25T20:48:30.293-05:00I hope to be living in Portland Oregon by May of 2006. That's my goal. I'm moving in w/ Hilary in a week and her lease is up in August (I think). I'll probably give myself another year on my own before I move back in w/ my parents. I'll live there for maybe a year and a half, save up at least $10,000, and then make the voyage across the country. I'm pretty sure by then I'll have the guts to moveShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-877510372003-01-20T18:09:00.000-05:002003-01-20T18:11:15.000-05:00I'm so annoyed w/ living here. It's not that bad it's just eating away at me. I want to live w/ people who deal day to day w/ the same things I deal with. (ie. someone my own age) Not that my life is full of struggles, but I'm tired of having to hear my parents. It doesn't even matter if they're talking to me or each other or some third party. It's all the little things that drive me nuts. Like Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-874487872003-01-14T20:52:00.000-05:002003-01-14T20:52:12.200-05:00I got a dvd player. It's fun. I bought Signs. I really like that movie. I watched it w/ my mom last night. She didn't like it... which I should have known she wouldn't. I forgot that it's also about a guy regaining his faith. She doesn't really like movies at all. She always wants to watch a movie and then she doens't really care about the ending and she forgets the whole story soon afterward. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-872826212003-01-11T19:18:00.000-05:002003-01-11T19:18:13.063-05:00LOL. I should post stuff like that all the time just to hear my friends reactions. Unfortunately (solely for the sake of my friends not having anything else to gossip about) I've decided not to do it. Things could go bad in so many ways. And I don't think I'm going to tell anyone what it was either.... well, if you got several beers in me I might. But then based on the responses to the post Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-870872512003-01-07T20:22:00.000-05:002003-01-07T20:22:41.730-05:00I'm on the verge of doing something completely immoral. I haven't done anything yet, but it's looking like I might. The thing is, I already feel some guilt for even thinking about it. So I can't imagine what I'll feel if I actually do it. Of course I'm trying to justify my possible future actions and I'm getting no where. And I'm trying to just forget about it...but that's not working either. It Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-870293862003-01-06T18:24:00.000-05:002003-01-06T18:26:18.000-05:00Sorry about that last post. That was anger toward blogger. I was actually excited about posting something yesterday because it's been a while since I have and then I attempted to make some changes to this site and it was all down hill from there. Anywho, I'm so happy to not be working at BBW. It's great to just come home and be home the whole evening. I just love it. I feel I have all this free Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-869850472003-01-05T21:20:00.000-05:002003-01-05T21:20:10.626-05:00Grrrr! I hate this!Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-869837762003-01-05T20:50:00.000-05:002003-01-05T21:17:44.000-05:00:(Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-866792732002-12-29T21:32:00.000-05:002002-12-29T21:32:53.950-05:00Hmmm, Let's see... January 9th is my last day at BBW. I'm so excited! At least it's supposed to be. I gave my 2 weeks on Thursday and Leann had me put it in writing and then ignored me and Jerry ignores everyone except whichever guy he's flirting w/ at the moment. I don't even know if I work tomorrow... I forgot to check the schedule and I don't really care. I'll just go in and if I work fine Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-864009902002-12-22T12:41:00.000-05:002002-12-22T12:42:37.000-05:00I'm moving in with Hilary sometime in January. I'm very excited. It's a great location to both work and bardstown rd. I'm going to be so glad to be out of my parents house. It's not like it's horrible or anything I'm just ready to get out. It'll be nice not being in indiana too. Everything I ever do is in Louisville anyway, besides working at BBW, which I won't be doing for much longer. :)
Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-853559672002-12-01T21:42:00.000-05:002002-12-01T21:42:15.000-05:00Oregon is post-poned :(
I guess it's time to find an apartment. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-851929752002-11-27T22:35:00.000-05:002002-11-27T22:35:05.960-05:00I guess I have to decide if I want to live in Oregon enough that I'm willing to live w/ a friend and her boyfriend. I think that's a big deal and I'm not really sure if I am or not. If I'm not willing to do that it means that I'm going to start looking for my own place around here and I'll probably be at this same awful job for who knows how long. I'm dying for my own place but I'm going to haveShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-851429262002-11-26T22:35:00.000-05:002002-11-26T22:37:11.000-05:00I was driving to work last week and I was stopped at the first light once you go over the second street bridge. I happened to look over at this red suv that was next to me and there was a man, probably in his mid-to-late 30s who was staring at me. Then he stuck his tongue out at me and it caught me so off guard that I laughed out loud. Then the light turned green and he drove away.
I totally Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-847385022002-11-18T21:10:00.000-05:002002-11-18T21:11:44.000-05:00It's new, it's blue and it's in my garage. :)Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-845585772002-11-14T22:34:00.000-05:002002-11-14T22:34:43.330-05:00So I mentioned waking up late all week. Our electricity went out some time last night and mom, dad and I were all late to work. I found it quite amusing. But at least I was really rested when I woke up at 7:30 instead of 6:00. :) I'm very confused. BBW was actually fun tonight. I was the 'replenisher' as Jo said the other night. And I actually had a fun time. We still didn't have much product to Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-845083872002-11-13T23:25:00.000-05:002002-11-13T23:25:04.293-05:00So here I am. I should be going to bed since I haven't woken up on time yet this week but here I sit staring blankly at the 'edit your blog' screen. I have to work at BBW tomorrow. I'm really not looking forward to it. Monday was so awful. I think I'm going to give it another couple weeks. Considering it's not even Thanksgiving yet I feel I ought to stay through that rush and then if I still Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-843364232002-11-10T19:47:00.000-05:002002-11-10T19:47:26.533-05:00This weekend was so much fun. I went up to Bloomington and stayed with meghan at wright. It was so weird staying in a dorm again... the joys of wearing flip flops in the shower :)... how quickly we forget. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to stay up on Friday night since I'd gotten up at about 5:30am but we stayed up till about 5am on Saturday. We went to upstairs and got a couple "blue Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-841970182002-11-07T19:05:00.000-05:002002-11-07T19:27:22.000-05:00I got a few online quizzes off my friends webblog. They're fun.
I Am The 3rd Party:The Reform Party: A shell of your former self, you are a bit of a has-been. You had the potential to take the country by storm. You even had a governer, as well as a good run for president. But you were fractured and split into three parties. Ross Perot, Jesse Ventura, and Pat Buchanan had too different viewsShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-841543522002-11-06T23:30:00.000-05:002002-11-06T23:30:34.360-05:00I hope everybody that I haven't talked to in about a week had a good weekend. I did. Hung out w/ Becky, went shopping, drank beer. It was fun. I went and saw the Ring. So If I die on Saturday you'll all know why. I thought it was really good, but Becky didn't like it. But then again, it's really rare when we like the same movies. Oh well, I'd pay to go see it again. I heard there's some Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-838581812002-10-31T23:09:00.000-05:002002-10-31T23:09:50.430-05:00Today was a major improvement on how my week has been so far. A day spend in my pjs was exactly what I needed. Work was actually fun (mainly b/c we didn't do as much work and we got to eat a bunch of food.) I talked to cute boy #2 at work today so that was cool. Haven't seen cute boy #1 in a few days. My poor little car has seen better days but it looks like a new(er) one is in my future. We're Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-838101172002-10-31T00:45:00.000-05:002002-10-31T00:45:49.466-05:00Thanks TeddyShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-838100782002-10-31T00:44:00.000-05:002002-10-31T00:44:56.216-05:00Once again, oh my god. It really sucks to be surrounded by stupid people. I swear to god I've been around so many stupid people today that I'm afraid I've actually become more stupider than I was before ;) I have quite a bit of faith in people. I mean, I've always thought there are some really stupid people out there but I had no idea. I was working w/ this girl and she disappears into the back Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-837453312002-10-29T20:25:00.000-05:002002-10-29T20:25:51.760-05:00oh my god. Today had to be the worst day in a long time. I knew the second my alarm clock went off that it wasn't going to be a good day. My bed was even more comfy than it normally is so I didn't get out of bed until about 6:45 and then it was a bunch of little things that were just annoying. Like no having anything to wear, and my hair looking like shit. And then since I was late I didn't have Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-836958052002-10-28T21:55:00.000-05:002002-10-28T21:55:47.070-05:00Is it Friday yet? Colin's party was fun! I wish people would have parties more often. There are so many people I don't see enough of. Some are only in certain circles of friends and I just never run into them unless certain people have parties. But I'm certianly not going to be bias when it comes to partying so I just think that everyone should have more parties and then I'll get to see everyone Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-836391672002-10-27T21:46:00.000-05:002002-10-27T21:46:25.026-05:00My brother just showed me this. It's kind of funny. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-835383992002-10-25T23:28:00.000-04:002002-10-27T02:22:00.000-05:00Who was I trying to kid? Of course nothing fun happened. I tried calling Becky but she never
called me back. I guess she worked late tonight. Blah. I wish I wasn't so damn tired all
the time. Even if she did call me I wouldn't go out b/c I'd probably fall asleep after my
first sip of beer.
cute boy alert My god, those eyes. Still feeling a little weird about the whole dressing up thingShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-835382852002-10-25T23:25:00.000-04:002002-10-25T23:25:19.350-04:00blahShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-834903772002-10-24T21:53:00.000-04:002002-10-25T23:22:22.000-04:00Tonight was a little odd but by no means bad. I don't go out half as much as I did before I started work so my tolerance has gone down considerably. This is all good when you're out w/ your friends having a good time, but it's a little weird when you're out w/ your parents. We went to Richo's for dinner tonight and I had one 20oz. beer AND food and I got a buzz. That's pretty sad. It's the first Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-833839382002-10-22T22:43:00.000-04:002002-10-22T22:43:27.916-04:00I never get to talk to anyone anymore. I used to be on the computer several times a during the day and always late at night. Now there's no one on, it's only 10:46pm and it's past when I should go to bed. how sad. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-833821182002-10-22T22:04:00.000-04:002002-10-22T22:04:14.510-04:00I was driving around on Sunday and I realized that I'd been neglecting a lot of things since I've been so busy with work and worried about saving money and I'd just kind of got caught up with my life at the moment. So, yeah, I was driving and I noticed that a lot of the leaves on the trees have already changed colors. I love fall, and walking to and from class when I was at IU I always paid closeShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-832389622002-10-20T00:47:00.000-04:002002-10-20T00:47:32.136-04:00I had to work today. At first it wasn't so bad. I actually woke up right before my alarm went off and Melinda brought in breakfast for everyone. It was so nice and peaceful and I could wear jeans and a t-shirt and comfy shoes. I got a lot of stuff done. Too bad there 's still loads more to do... and to copy. But it was an easy $54. Time and a half rocks. My next check is going to be nice. So I Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-830882572002-10-16T19:52:00.000-04:002002-10-16T19:52:36.540-04:00I do so much copying at work that I've started to consider a good name for myself to be "the copy girl" but today I realized that "the copy slave" would be more fitting. I didn't mind it so much at first but today was awful. I was at the copier for 3 hours. Standing for 3 hours is not fun. Occasionally there's a paper jam, or it runs out of paper. And today the toner cartridge ran out so I had toShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-825427042002-10-04T22:43:00.000-04:002002-10-04T22:43:36.730-04:00"But when I lift my voice up now to reach them. The range is too high, way up in heaven. So I hold my tongue, forget the song, tie my shoe and start walking off. And try to just keep moving on, with my broken heart and my absent God and I have no faith but it is all I want, to be loved and believe in my soul."
-I fucking love that.Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-825418492002-10-04T22:16:00.000-04:002002-10-04T22:16:13.683-04:00I'm craving contactShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-823439662002-09-30T22:26:00.000-04:002002-09-30T22:27:41.000-04:00It's just after 10 and I'm so tired. I hate getting up in the morning. I know I'll get used to it but it's the process of getting used to it that really sucks. The day seems so short. I get home and there's not enough time to sit and relax before I have to go to bed in order to be able to get up in time to go to work. The job isn't so bad. It'll be better once I know what I'm supposed to be Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-822605782002-09-29T01:14:00.000-04:002002-09-29T01:16:31.000-04:00Every now and then I love staying in on the weekends. (I may just be telling myself this because I don't have the money to go out, but we'll ignore that for now.) Tonight was really nice. I didn't have to worry about what I was going to wear out or how much I would spend or drink or any of that crap. I just hung out at my house. It was especially nice cause my parents went out. Not that I used itShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-820288902002-09-24T00:08:00.000-04:002002-09-24T00:08:14.613-04:00It was so beautiful outside today. It only got up to 75, which I think is just perfect. I'm so happy that fall is here and it's cooling off. I hate the summer heat, especially around here. Fall is just so refreshing. I love wearing sweaters and jackets and long sleeved shirts. It's so nice and cozy :)
I got the job at Stockyards. It's just temporary but it's full time and she said it may last Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-819793722002-09-23T00:37:00.000-04:002002-09-23T00:37:36.176-04:00I can't believe I was nice to that asshole. He totally doesn't deserve it. I wonder how people who actually consider him a friend deal with him on a daily basis... or any basis. He's pretty shitty w/ me sometimes. But I'm sure deep down that's because I'm a liberal non-christian. fuck him. ugh...I have an interview tomorrow. I just want it to be over. I just want to be working somewhere long Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-819779742002-09-22T23:58:00.000-04:002002-09-22T23:58:04.100-04:00I just want to be doing something elseShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-819051372002-09-21T02:13:00.000-04:002002-09-21T02:13:04.040-04:00I told myself, to drive home and write. I knew I'd produce something good for a change. A good read, not for me, but for others to see. But I sat at the desk w/ my mind's eye on the page, but nothing came out. There must not have been ink in the pen... or thoughts in my head. Twenty minutes had passed and I just wanted to shout. Then I realized the paper was full of words that made no sense. All Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-817118242002-09-17T02:33:00.000-04:002002-09-17T02:33:12.706-04:00So usually I post things because I feel like voicing my mind but tonight I just feel like typing. I went through a whole phase where I liked typing more than writing so instead of writing in a journal I typed it into a word document. It's kind of neat. I have 3 years of my life on one little disk. And they were the exciting years too... end of HS into college, first love, first heartache... it's Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-815857692002-09-14T01:41:00.000-04:002002-09-14T01:41:47.480-04:00God, I'm so fucking bored. And since I do absolutely nothing all day I'm tired as hell to boot. I went shopping w/ my mom for like 5 hours today and I'm so tired I didn't even want to go out w/ Becky tonight. I probably would have gone if they were going somewhere free... but they were off to connections and I just wasnt' up for that when I can spend the same amount of money in the whole night Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-815370952002-09-12T23:22:00.000-04:002002-09-12T23:24:40.000-04:00The lady still hasn't called me back. My dad was actually hopefull saying that maybe they just hadn't decided who they wanted yet. But I would think that they would call to say that they were still thinking it over if I was still in the running. I sent my resume into that receptionist job... now I have to wait around for that. I'm finally over my whole missing college phase. I was really wanting Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-814905972002-09-11T23:50:00.000-04:002002-09-11T23:52:39.000-04:00wow. I can't believe I haven't posted anything for almost a month. I completely forgot about it! That and I've been in Oregon for the past week. It was so amazing. When I came home I felt more like I was leaving home than returning to it. I've completely fell in love with it out there and I'm basically dropping everything and planning on moving out there by next June. We had orginally said next Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-803801212002-08-18T00:48:00.000-04:002002-08-18T00:49:04.000-04:00I'm currently weighing the decision of whether to find a job here when I get back from Oregon or to just move there now and get a job there... this may take a while.Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-802633112002-08-15T01:11:00.000-04:002002-08-15T01:11:58.853-04:00It's official. I leave for Portland, Oregon on August 31st. I can't believe I'm going. I've even been looking into what we're going to do for the week we're there, but it still doesn't feel like I'm actually going to be in Oregon in about two weeks. My parents really surprised me. I expected them to laugh at me when I asked if I could go. Considering I've sat around on my ass all summer, I have Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-801218782002-08-11T23:29:00.000-04:002002-08-11T23:29:12.620-04:00My first interview all summer and it was a failure. Not necessarily on my part though. She basically said... "We want to hire you... this is what the job entails... are you sure you still want it?" I think I was actually overqualified. I felt like she was giving me a vibe that said, "Why on earth are you interested in this job?" I was still really pissed off that it wasn't what I thought it was. Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-798785762002-08-06T01:27:00.000-04:002002-08-11T22:26:36.000-04:00I just went back and read through some old poems and prose that I wrote at a very interesting time in my life. It took over an hour to read the whole binder full of clippings and what-not. Some of them are quite deep and while I have no strong feelings about any of those they were written about now, I found myself getting slightly teary. It was very strange. I never thought that words that I Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-798312402002-08-05T00:23:00.000-04:002002-08-05T00:23:44.416-04:00Do you ever meet someone and you think they're the most interesting person you've ever met? And you say to yourself I want this person in my life regardless of the type of relationship I will have w/ them. But the truth is you'll probably never see the person ever again. And you'll probably never meet someone like them for the rest of your life? This just happened to me. ****** and I went over toShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-795346972002-07-29T00:32:00.000-04:002002-07-29T00:35:13.000-04:00The wisdom teeth are out... the pain is in. I keep sleeping past the time when I should take my next dosage of pain killers and I wake up in agony. It's just not fun. I forget that the drugs are actually working until I stop taking them. I was able to eat real food this evening though so that was good. But I can't drive anywhere or drink any alcohol so I haven't been having any fun lately. I Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-794264422002-07-26T01:46:00.000-04:002002-07-26T14:36:37.000-04:00So I've come to the conclusion that just about everyones life is more exciting than my own. I read one of my friends online diaries and she was playing pool with some guy and they decided that the loser had to lick the winners nipple. She lost, licked his nipple and eventually making out ensued. Now that's a story people want to read about. If you're one of the many click here My apologies if Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-793810632002-07-25T01:46:00.000-04:002002-07-25T01:46:44.716-04:00Not much as been going on lately. The trip to b-ton was good. I was disappointed in the appearence of my apartment but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. It was also very validating for me. I was starting to wonder if I really could live alone. Would I get lonely... etc. But after being reminded of living w/ someone else I really can't wait to have my own place. I'm to the point where I Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-791416072002-07-19T04:04:00.000-04:002002-07-19T04:04:10.780-04:00I saw her. She looked the same and acted the same. It was really disappointing. I wanted there to be a difference. Some spark, some calm-ness about her. Nothing. I left disillusioned. But it was the disillusionment you get when the reality you feared actually becomes reality. So I knew it would come... I just didn't want it to come yet. I wanted to make my fears a reality. Not see it through Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-789201082002-07-13T21:52:00.000-04:002002-07-13T21:52:53.120-04:00I love spooning... :)Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-786729122002-07-08T00:28:00.000-04:002002-07-08T00:29:28.000-04:00It's amazing how the time flies. And I haven't been having all that much fun... at least if I am having fun I was unaware of it... in which case it wouldn't matter because is it really fun if you don't realize you're having fun?
It seems like the last thing I remember was going to St. Louis. But that was almost a month ago. Lots of random things have happened to me since then. Some of them Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-782397402002-06-26T17:16:00.000-04:002002-06-26T17:16:13.630-04:00 Dream #2
"What time is it?" He asked after a few moments of silence.
"Eleven thirty." She replied.
"It's still early. Do you have anything to do tomorrow?"
"No. You?"
"Not until the afternoon. Do you want to go somewhere else?" But before she could say "Sure." He had already put the car into reverse and was backing down her driveway.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see. I think you'llShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-782009182002-06-25T20:50:00.000-04:002002-07-26T14:50:15.000-04:00The endless monotony
Day 1
4:12pm
::Ring::
Hello?
Hey
Hey, what's up?
Nothing what are you doing tonight?
I don't have any plans. What did you have in mind?
I don't know but I know I want to do something.
Yeah. Are you at work?
Yeah I'm on my break. I get off at 6:00
Have you talked to anybody else?
Yeah I'm supposed to call _____. He said he wants to do something later.
Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-778575092002-06-17T15:56:00.000-04:002002-06-17T15:56:30.680-04:00 A Dream
::yawn::
"I am so tired."
"Yeah, me too... So I've been thinking of getting my own place."
"Really? I thought it wasn't too bad of a deal living with your parents."
"Yeah, it's not. I've just started wanting my own place recently. So how do you feel about that?"
"I think it's a great idea if that's what you really want."
"It is."
"Any reason you want to move out?"
"Well, Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-778257252002-06-16T21:21:00.000-04:002002-06-16T21:21:31.476-04:00Right before I'm about to verbally bash my friends (in the private pages of my personal diary) they surprise me. It doesn't even have to be anything that I can pick out and say, "This... right here... this is what you did." Most of the time I can't do that. But it's always something that makes me happy.
Thanks guys.
(If you're even reading this.)
-shellShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-777269942002-06-14T00:27:00.000-04:002002-06-14T00:27:15.186-04:00The worst and best experience all wrapped into one:
Drove all the way to St. Louis to see K's Choice (which was very close to a religious experience for me), got back to town around 4am yesterday morning, I am 2 miles from my house when someone runs a red light, totals my car (as far as $ is concerned, but it's still drive-able), and eventually drives away. All I know is it was a white female Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-776335302002-06-11T21:22:00.000-04:002002-06-11T21:22:17.273-04:00If millions of people can read the same book and all of them learn a little something more about themselves because of it, what does that say about the human race? What does that say about literature? Shelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3563570.post-775960902002-06-11T00:23:00.000-04:002002-06-11T00:23:53.700-04:00vulgarity is the biggest turn-offShelleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11080905888600417624noreply@blogger.com